How do we maintain self-worth when we lose those we value the most? This is one of the arresting questions at the centre of Joyce Carol Oates' heart-wrenching novel “Breathe”. Gerard and Michaela are academics who have temporarily moved from their home in Massachusetts to New Mexico in order to work at a distinguished institute. They consider this trip to be like the honeymoon they never had time to experience when they first married twelve years ago. However, when Gerard becomes terminally ill, Michaela's life spirals into chaos and she's left alone struggling to continue. Oates' novels often concern the question of survival for those in challenging situations where the individual faces vast obstacles of oppression, violence and prejudice. They chronicle the irrepressible will of the human spirit to overcome challenging circumstances. This novel describes the journey of a woman confronted with the insurmountable reality of death and the solemn fact that we will eventually lose those we love. Unable to face the fact of Gerard's death, she becomes lost in a fever dream where time is looped and she's plagued by wrathful gods eager to consume her. It's a tense, sobering and artfully-composed tale full of insight and tender feeling.
The landscape and atmosphere of this south-west location is vividly described: “Skies of sharp-chiseled clouds wounding to the eye, such beauty unknown in the East where the cityscape devours three-quarters of the sky and the air is porous with haze.” This desert and open environment takes on great symbolic value amidst Michaela's existential crisis. It also physically constrains her being at an altitude she's not accustomed to where breathing is more difficult. It's fairly unusual for Oates to set her stories somewhere other than New England or New Jersey so this alien location adds to the character's sense of being alarmingly out of place. It's touching how she stubbornly remains here in self-imposed exile out of a sense of duty and because departing would mean admitting that she's really lost her beloved husband.
Being in this region of America, Michaela also encounters a Native American influence where this culture has been reduced down into rather inauthentic and tawdry decorative pieces for the institute-owned home which the couple inhabit. However, in Michaela's destabilized state of being the god-figures depicted in these “art” pieces become the spectres which haunt her – particularly the figure of Ishtikini who is a trickster that not only antagonizes her but might shape shift to appear as an apparently helpful figure intent upon deceiving her. These nightmare manifestations are a mark of her paranoia and her desire to sacrifice herself if it means she might be reunited with her husband. She has the opposite of an empowering religious experience. Rather than finding comfort and structure to help her persist through adversity, the fervour of these visions plague her. Equally, she seems damned to play out a scenario of fateful love as described in the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice.
The narrative often slides between second and third person as Michaela becomes increasingly disorientated. She is unable to find solace in religion or science: “you have lost faith not only in the cutting-edge research but in faith itself. Yet, you register hope in your smiling face. You reflect hope, as in a reflective surface.” This is such a poignant way of describing how we often persist through adversity even when it feels like we've lost our foundation and purpose in being. We bravely face the world simply because life continues on around us. The very notion of hope is begrudgingly worn and Emily Dickinson's famous line is transmogrified in this story to “Hope is the poisoned bait. Men eat of it and die.”
Because Michaela loses her belief in life's purpose she is thrown out of time: “In her entranced state time moves unpredictably: with glacial-slowness, then in quick leaps and pleats, as if someone is leafing impatiently through the pages of a book.” Time also becomes for her like a mobius strip “NO END. NO BEGINNING. Except of course there is: an end.” As such the narrative gradually diverges in two directions simultaneously. On one side Michaela experiences an increasing diminution of being where she is subjected to persistent humiliations and the threat of evisceration. On the other side she carries out the laboriously hollow duties of a widow seeing to her husband's cremation, editing his unfinished manuscript sardonically titled “The Human Brain and Its Discontents” and completing her duties teaching a course in memoir writing. Interestingly, the fates of other characters such as a student who is a victim of rape and a student with a chronic medical condition are also subject to two possible fates. These mutually exclusive dual timelines appear illogical but they accurately reflect the limits of Michaela's state of mind: “How to give meaning to a narrative. When the nature of what has happened isn't clear even to the person to whom it has happened.” Therefore the conclusion is ambiguous with elements that are concurrently inspiring and tragic. It's a truly innovative approach to writing about the painful dilemma of an individual who has been pushed to the limits of endurance and experiences insurmountable grief. Following Michaela's journey is a mesmerising and haunting experience.
You can watch me discuss “Babysitter” with Joyce Carol Oates here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NElkoUXn2Nc
