There's a tremendous emotional complexity to the lives of Adam Haslett's characters which isn't fully understood until sticking with them for a sustained period of time and following the full arc of their stories. This was the case in his previous novel “Imagine Me Gone” and it's certainly true in this new novel which (as the title suggests) explores the dynamics of several mother and son relationships. By its conclusion I was in tears because the impact was so strong. The story primarily focuses on Peter, a gay asylum lawyer in his 40s living in New York City, and his mother Ann who runs a women's retreat in rural Vermont with her female partner Clare. Peter and Ann have been estranged for many years after a dramatic incident and great loss which occurred many years ago. Each of them works really hard in their lives to enact positive change for other people, but without sustaining their own emotional well being. As Peter takes on new client Vasel Marku who is a gay Albanian seeking asylum in the US this lawyer gradually confronts what he's suppressed about his own past and how his mother is a key part of being able to progress forward in his life.
The narrative moves back and forth between these two central characters' perspectives, with Peter's story told in first person while Ann's tale is related in the third person. The nature of the gulf between them is gradually revealed and circumstances lead them together – a reunion that's partly facilitated by Peter's chaotic and vibrant sister Liz. I especially appreciated getting a detailed representation of Peter's life working with his clients who might be deported and the difficulty of building a case to grant them asylum. This feels especially topical given the mass deportations occurring under the new administration in America right now. Though Peter is openly gay he lives a very restrained existence, regularly seeing a man only for sexual convenience and building no lasting ties. It's poignant how Haslett presents the psychology of a man who fully accepts his sexuality but has trouble forging emotional connections with other men. Ann's story is equally compelling as she made the decision to leave her husband for a woman when Peter was a teenager. Though she's in some ways settled her present life is still evolving and I really felt the intricate nature of the longstanding partnership she's built with Clare over many years.
There are also a number of other compelling mother/son relationships presented alongside these central characters including Vasel and the mother who helped him flee Albania, one of Peter's female clients and her American-born son and Peter's teenage friend (and first love) Jared and his young mother. The contrast between these various relationships show how such connections often contain a lot of tension. While many mothers make tremendous sacrifices for their sons they also run the risk of smothering them. As sons strive for independence they often don't appreciate or acknowledge the challenges their mothers are facing. Ruptures occur through these disconnections and that can lead to deep loneliness. Re-opening honest connections can be incredibly difficult and it's solemnly observed “What a waste a closed heart is.” However, the novel also pays tribute to the special bond of this familial relationship and its potential to become nurturing in a vital way. It's admirable how Haslett's writing draws on classic themes, but it also feels powerfully bold and modern.
