Dawn is a middle aged woman who was born and raised in Trinidad but has spent her entire adult life living in England. When she was a teenager she gave up her newborn daughter for adoption. Now she's been contacted by a woman who claims to be her lost daughter. This story is an account of her life and the search for the daughter she's never known. I read this novel with my online book club and there were very mixed responses from different members. Some found it very emotional to read and others felt it fell flat. Personally, I did find the story emotionally involving – especially Dawn's harrowing experience when she was only 16 being smuggled into Venezuela to give birth in secret and the very poignant end of the novel. To me these events set the tone of the book so that all the details she relates about her life in between (from mundane observations to poignant memories) have an emotional charge to them where Dawn is trying to set the record straight about her past/identity and reconcile the trauma and loss she experienced as a teenager. The time she spends late at night looking through her ipad to look at maps of Venezuela and copy pictures of women who might look like her daughter show her deep yearning for connection and understanding. I also found it very powerful how she imagines different forms her daughter's life might have taken and potential conversations they might have. While the story is obviously set within a specific context I think it prompts self reflections about an individual's relationship to their parents or child (if they are a parent.)

I found it interesting how Claire Adam stated in an interview that the yearning a mother and child have to be together (even if they've never met) seems to “defy rational explanation”. I enjoyed how the story steadily explores this question probing how the connection might be instinctual, biological, emotional or a combination of these. Is this bond imagined or real? There's the immediate tension throughout this tale about whether or not the woman in Italy who has contacted Dawn is her daughter or not. But apart from the genetic answer to this question there is obviously a longing for a mother/daughter relationship which never occurred and it's poignant how the story explores the dynamics of this. I appreciated the way the novel questions the meaning and role of parenthood – especially how family can take on different forms – especially if certain family members have been (potentially) irretrievably lost.

I'd say the story takes quite a leisurely pace as it moves backwards and forwards between Dawn's present and the past. Not all of the details may seem entirely relevant but it came across to me like Dawn was trying to compose a memoir or portrait of her own life so her lost daughter can understand her. So her way of explaining aspect of Trinidadian ways of speaking and mannerisms felt intended to help her daughter understand what life is like in the country of Dawn's birth because her unknown daughter has probably never visited it and isn't familiar with the culture. Similarly, Dawn explains the workings and lifestyle of Britain and London where she's made her home for her entire adult life. Personally, I enjoyed mentions of a number of south London locations I'm familiar with since I've also lived in these areas for my entire adult life. It also felt like this surplus of detail and Dawn's manner of explaining things was also a way for her to affirm her own sense of identity since she has lived away from her homeland for so long. I certainly feel this myself as an expat. Nevertheless, the story does seem to drag a bit and becomes a little too meandering in the middle.

I felt one of the most striking sections of the novel was when Dawn confronts her father trying to explain why she longs to reconnect with her unknown daughter and holding him to account for putting her in such a terrifying/dangerous situation when she was pregnant at 16. The “You were the lion” line packs quite a punch! But I like how this is further complicated as we learn things which have been hidden about her father's past. While the father's attitude toward Dawn is undoubtably influenced by a patriarchal sense regarding the stigma and class shame about an unwed pregnant daughter, it shows how he might have also been motivated by a sense of shame about his own past and a potential suppressed longing for an unknown family connection. It partly shows why he is so motivated to consign children given up for adoption to the past and focus purely on the present and the family formed within the sanctity of marriage and the “legitimate” children who are socially accepted. Alternatively, Dawn's mother softens her point of view and I found the uneasy new connection she makes with her to be very poignant. This change in her mother's stance made sense to me given the amount of time that has passed, the way social norms have changed slightly over the decades and since the father has died Dawn's mother might feel less need to side with him.

I've enjoyed thinking about this novel in comparison to some other recent fiction which differently explores parent/child relationships – especially in relation to young mothers. For instance, in “Seascraper” by Benjamin Wood, Thomas' mother became pregnant with him when she was a teenager. She had to make compromises in her life in order to care for him at a young age yet she doesn't regret her decision. In addition to parental/social pressure, Dawn was motivated to give her daughter up for adoption because she didn't want to miss out on life's opportunities. Now in her 50s she has a good life and loves her adult sons but she's not achieved her professional aspirations in being a doctor. I've found it interesting to consider to what degree compromises are an inevitable part of parenthood – regardless of whether a child is kept or given up for adoption. Another example is the recent novel “Ripeness” by Sarah Moss where the protagonist's sister gives her newborn up for adoption and is staunch in her conviction that she wants no emotional or physical connection with the baby because she is focused on her dance career. I've been mulling over these different characters and the different techniques these authors have used to explore the complicated questions surrounding parent/child connections.

Having also read Claire Adam's previous novel “Golden Child”, I think the author has a special talent for conveying complex emotions in her narratives and exploring the teeming (perhaps unanswerable) questions which induce such conflicted feelings.

Even though she ostensibly played a writer on TV, I first became aware of Sarah Jessica Parker’s real life passion for books a few years ago when she posted on Instagram about reading Lisa McInerney’s “The Glorious Heresies”. At the time I had great fun joking with Lisa how this novel could be developed into a “Sex in the City”-style TV show set in Cork because its gritty world of gangs, prostitution and drugs was so ridiculously far removed from the upscale life of sipping Cosmos and designer shoes depicted in that series. But Parker has taken her perceptive eye for great literature to the next level by starting her own imprint SJP under the publisher Hogarth.

I was particularly keen on reading “Golden Child” by Claire Adam, the second novel published by this imprint (in the UK it’s published by Faber & Faber) because it came adorned with blurbs by authors I really admire like Daniel Magariel and Sara Taylor. It’s a moving story of a family in Trinidad who have twin sons, one who develops into the most academically gifted boy in the Caribbean and the other who experiences severe learning difficulties. When one boy goes missing the novel turns into a tense mystery and kept me gripped wondering what was going to happen. But the heart of this novel revolves around questions about favouritism in families and the meaning of sacrifice for a child’s future.

It really pulls on my heartstrings when I read about children who are cast in a certain role within a family and forever carry the burden of those expectations. This works both ways for children who are generalised to be either smart/stupid, responsible/reckless, entertaining/dull or a whole host of opposing roles. The fact that the boys in this story are twins makes the contrast between them all the more vivid as well as the fact that they aren’t treated equally. What this novel shows so powerfully is that children don’t fit into one mould or another, but have unique personalities and quirks which ought to be considered in helping them to achieve their full potential. Only a kindly Irish priest named Father Kavanagh takes the time to see the value in the “problem” child Paul. I do wish more time had been spent fleshing out the character of his twin brother Peter and mother Joy, but the novel mostly focuses on Paul and his father Clyde.

Even though my sympathy naturally went with the children in this story it’s admirable how their father is still so complexly and engagingly depicted. He’s somewhat trapped in a family that’s torn apart by squabbling over inheritance and ardently wants to do the best for his children – despite categorizing them. As a working class man he knows the real value of money and doesn’t want to miss elevating at least one of his children out of the circumstances he was raised in. But he’s put in an impossible and dramatic position where he feels like he has to choose between them. The environment of his rural neighbourhood in Trinidad is depicted as crime-ridden where each house requires security devices and guard dogs to protect the families within. At the same time, the author portrays the warmth, humour and (oftentimes gossipy) nature of the community.

This is a cleverly structured novel that powerfully portrays the complexities of family life and the difficult choices made in a strained environment.